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Miles Away

part 6 of The Modern Hero

by the way your lower jaw juts
Maintaining a half-inch of gap between your top teeth and bottom
Suggesting but withholding your words
As though this is my punishment, your silence, that is.
You were not pleased at being told
I might be thinking of another man.

Your displeasure
Is next to nothing
Compared to what might come if you knew the truth:

Not another man's arms
or even another arm
Except possibly my own, possessed, as it is, of
my very cold fingers
(These damned leather half-gloves
are useless in weather)
My painfully itchy arsehole, precisely one arm's length away;
Wondering if crossing my legs fast enough
Relying on the tensile nature of my tight fit of jeans
to alleviate the urge to delve myself in public,
But deciding promptly, as one does when blessed with experience, that I would likely knock the table over with the upswing of the six inch heel that completes the perfection that is my shiny left boot.

This is where you fit:
Cold fingers
The unfortunate decision to buy leather half-gloves at lunchtime on Friday, just so I could look like the latest pop star (who is, you understand, utterly defined by his accessories);
What use, philosophically speaking, is the tightness of rock star jeans in the evolutionary production of rock stars?
How high a heel is inappropriate? (Or rather,
How insufficiently wide is this table? Did they really need to fit six extra people
and their mediocre blazers and blousy pints of Guinness
into this otherwise poor blameless room?)
Add in the complex mental calculation
Regarding the friction generated by denim seams subject to socially acceptable levels of displacement and speed; taking into consideration the elasticity of the weave subject to age and wear, of course,
And my itchy arsehole
Promising as it does the incipient orgasm that awaits me
Pending the discovery of where this stinking bar hides its toilets
Or even a phone booth
If those even exist any more.

Then I'll have time to think of you
And your inability to deserve my attention
Despite your jutting jaw.

June 2010

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